Identify what motivates you to recover: Your dream life

I like to do motivational interviewing with my clients and help them identify their values, then see how their eating disorder is taking them away from being able to fulfill those values.


---


Here's some of a conversation between me and a client. One of her dreams is to be able to eat to satiety without gaining much weight.


Me: Gaining weight is bringing to your dream. It's what I experience right now. I’m at a healthy weight and I eat to satiety daily. I have more pleasure out of food than ever before.


Your hunger signals are causing you to eat enough to gain weight. And gaining weight is bringing you closer to your higher, goal weight. And only at that goal weight can you eat to satiety while maintaining a stable weight.


It is ONLY at your goal weight when this will happen. Before you hit that weight, your weight will HAVE to continue to increase. You need to increase your weight to make it to the goal.


So your hunger signals are the best thing ever right now.


I only got there because I GAINED weight first, by eating more according to my hunger signals. And I still do eat to my hunger signals! I never let myself go hungry.


---


One of my clients has a dream to have a large garden, including an orchard.


Client: "But the problem is I have to measure all my food. So I cannot even go into the orchard and pick her raspberry and eat it. Because I measure all my food. So I dream would be to able to pick some thing and eat it."


Me: That’s a beautiful dream!! as you gain weight, you will get there. Today what happened (a weight increase) was a MIRACLE ❤️ It’s bringing you closer to your dream


Client: "But I can’t trust my hunger signals on when and how much to eat, because right now I fear my hunger signals. Because they caused me to eat an amount where I gain weight."


Me: One day you will be able to go to the orchard and pick food and eat it freely, with a mind full of love for the food and yourself and other people.


Your hunger signals are causing you to eat enough to gain weight. And gaining weight is bringing you closer to your higher, goal weight. And only at that goal weight can you eat to satiety while maintaining a stable weight.


It is ONLY at your goal weight when this will happen. Before you hit that weight, your weight will HAVE to continue to increase. You need to increase your weight to make it to the goal.


So your hunger signals are the best thing ever right now.


Client: “Something dawned on me today that has never dawned on me before. End it really got me thinking. You know when I’m at a healthy weight, maybe all of this won't matter as much anymore? Because hypothetically the anorexia gene will be turned off. And then I won't be so obsessed with needing to move. And maybe, just maybe, I won’t be so worried about calories. Which means I could just eat. Because I won’t be constantly worried that I am eating too much or that I can’t trust my hunger signals


So it dawned on me that if I just gain weight to my healthy weight and shut the anorexia off, then I won’t care about this anymore. It’s hard to believe that I wouldn’t care about it. I mean I fear gaining weight, and not looking so thin, and thus not feeling like I am the best and super diligent and superior. Because being thin means I achieved My goal. But just maybe if I am at a healthy weight being the thinnest wouldn’t even be a goal anymore. So there would be nothing to worry about. So I fear being a healthy weight and not looking thin. But when I’m at a healthy weight I won’t want to look thinnest so it won’t even matter in the first place


Does that make sense? That my anorexic brain is the one worried about movement and being thin. So if I get the brain turned off, I won’t worry about movement and looking a certain way. And boss it won’t even matter what I look like in the first place because I won’t be worried about it.


And the only way to turn it off here healthy weight."


Me: When you eat enough to turn off the anorexia genes, you will finally be able to just eat and trust your hunger signals. You will trust your whole entire body more.


Your goal could change from being just thin, to being something more than just that. To being actually the best and superior. The best and superior don't have anorexia.

When you turn off the anorexic brain, you finally will turn off all those worries. You will finally be free. The ONLY way to turn it off is to eat more and be at a healthy weight


--


Dear reader, what's your dream life? How are your current behaviors helping (or hindering) you toward it?