A conversation between my client and I, as she said she'd go on a walk with her puppy.
Me: Would you restrict your puppy’s food until they starved?
Client: Absolutely not. I would give anything for her. She is my child.
Right 😊 In the same way, consider taking care of yourself like that. You are worthy of care.
You wouldn’t make your puppy walk if she had not enough to eat all day or was drastically thin
You’d want your puppy to rest and eat more. And you wouldn’t wait for your puppy to get very seriously ill, to take action. I bet the moment your puppy starts acting differently or showing signs of pain, you’d rush right away to fix it.
Imagine your puppy being 20 lb underweight, bones showing... You’d be horrified!
And wouldn’t be proud of walking around with an emaciated puppy like that
Everyone could see that you’re not taking care of the puppy enough
So, when you walk around very underweight, bones showing… Think of how it must be for people when they see you. They don’t see perfection. They see someone who isn’t taking care of themselves, due to a mental illness.
Anorexics are used to being hard on themselves, but tend to show care for others like friends, families, and pets. They will give up all of their own resources and deny themselves comfort - part of this is due to their personality, and also due to the evolutionary adaptation of anorexics to feel pride when they sacrifice themselves.
It's not healthy, not one bit of it. In an airplane they say that during an emergency, you have to put on an oxygen mask to save yourself, so that you're able to save others. Short-term, anorexics may be able to "save" others by denying themselves resources, but in the long-term the anorexic will eventually die from doing this. The damage of anorexia is immense and in the present time of no famine, an anorexic person is doing themselves no favors.
Rather, they are causing immense burden for their loved ones by remaining sick. If you have anorexia, you realize the expense and mental distress you are causing others. This should be what causes guilt, not eating more food.
You know what the right thing to do, to make your tribe happy, is... You know you need to take more care of yourself, just like you would take care of others.